Digressions of a Dilettante

Digressions of a Dilettante
Vignettes of Inanity by Bud Hearn

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Lookin' At Trains and Other Anomalies

Friends: Lookin' At Trains and Other Anomalies

I told y'all you might not get the Friday Forum emails. Lynn is gone, and I "sent" it last week. But, alas, many said they didn't "get it" which, knowing this group, could mean they didn't "receive it" or they couldn't "get it." Admittedly some of my mental flushes are profound, but they are designed to get you to looking on "the other side" of things. So this week, Julie is going to attempt to send it. Hope you get it.

Yesterday I pulled up at the Okeefenokee Restaurant, you know, that local trans-fat joint where the locals congregate, to meet a fellow and try to beat him out of some of his real estate. When I got in the parking lot, I knew I had "arrived," seeing as this big lady was changing the diapers of some infant on the hood of the car, being supported by two loggers. Where else but in Folkston, Georgia would this happen?

His real estate was out past the cemetery, where I noticed they are now not only putting benches out by the graves, but small mail boxes as well. Go figure. The real estate was not spectacular, so we headed back to town.
"Hey James, I said, what's with that there platform with all them people on it?" (you have to talk local so as not to be spotted as some "Slick" from the islands. I blend in well in Folkston). "Oh, them's 'train watchers', and didn't you know that Folkston is the 'Train Watching Capital' of the world?"

"You must be pulling my leg," I shouted over the roar of the train and the maddening screaming of the onlookers. There seemed to be a frenzy going on at the platform, which overlooked the tracks. "How come them folks are watching them trains go by," I asked, "it's too early for them to be drunk."
He said seriously, “Well, see that there little house over by the tracks ("little" is an understatement. It was about 12' X 20' and was situated right next to the twin tracks), I own it and it's been rented for 75 straight nights to folks from as far as Ireland. They come to watch them trains, and the cops have to patrol the area pretty close all day and night. When them trains come by whistling and rumbling, them folks come streaming over to the tracks, hollering wildly, and it's pretty close to a wild orgy of excitement."

There you have it folks. Just 45 miles from here the "Train Watching Capital of the World." And you can bet your little caboose the Friday Forum will soon get a day trip up to witness this spectacle of life. And heck, you can do things with impunity on the hood of your own car, too, if what I saw yesterday is any example. You can blame it on the trains and not the alcohol...Now, I remember the hood of my old car one night down on the farm many years ago...Oops, that's another story….

Bud
October 11, 2007

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