Reflections of a Dull Mind

“On the neck of a giraffe a flea begins to believe in immortality.” S. L. Lec

Some days are better than others for reflection. Actually, some days are absolutely dangerous to contemplate anything, especially after a mixture of alcohol and nightmares.

Recently I was engrossed in reading a host of aphorisms by one obscure Polish aphorist (oxymoron), Stanislaw J. Lec. Being a reflective type, my imagination began to run wild. I have included a few in this inanity for your contemplation.

Life offers many ways out, but none quite as graphic as “The noose is long, but it’s still a noose.” I’ve never been at the end of a literal noose, though I do believe that public hangings, as well as public floggings, would send a message to some. However recently, I have been at the edge of an abyss with an ever-shortening figurative noose. Of course, there are many “nooses” which serve the purpose of hanging one, and I suspect we all have our favorite.

In Buckhead a sign read, “Every scarecrow has the secret ambition to terrorize.” Several vagrants had gathered around a fire, roasting something strange, and I was curious. Approaching, I recognized many of the participants, nattily clad former real estate tycoons. They had built a bonfire of mortgage notes and deeds, erecting a scarecrow on the pyre. The scarecrow looked strikingly like a famous banker, who had terrorized many of them in recent times.

I liked the one that said, “Dark windows are often a very clear proof.” Now, in the city there are a number of darkened windows, not only of high-rise condos and office towers, but also of black Cadillac Escalades that cruise Peachtree with drumbeat vibrations going on inside. While the first category is pretty easy to figure out, one can only surmise what debauchery is occurring in the Caddie.

Perhaps you have seen this one, “The exit is usually where the entrance was.” Doors can look so attractive, until you glance inside. This can go for humans as well. In this city of derelict buildings and foreclosed construction cranes, many must have missed the one, “I prefer the sign that said No Entrance to the one that said No Exit.” You see, the entrance is often a ruse, an apparition that actually vanishes upon entry, leaving no possible means of escape. Extrapolate this if you can.

In recent meetings I recall the one that advised, “Sometime mud gives the illusion of depth.” In these meetings verisimilitude rules, and what is said is often what is not. But then again I have become a master of the embellishment of nothing, as is the case here.

Some of you may recall this, “Bottom is still bottom even turned upside down.” It has been a known fact that water seeks its own level, which is usually in complicity with gravity. But have you forgotten to consider what happens to water when converted to steam? It rises, you fool, and so gives credence to this famous aphorism that it is still water, and often dirty water!

Many of you will echo this truism, “I wanted to tell the world just one word. Unable to do it, I became a writer.” Did I hear an “Amen” out there somewhere?

In the recent morass, perhaps it is good to remember that “Burning stakes do not lighten the darkness.” Oh, yeah, we no longer wear white cone hoods at the burning, we are far more surreptitious than that. And we’re quite adept at burning stakes even on the lawns of churches and government buildings. However, perhaps a few burned in the corridors of Congress might send a well-needed message. Just a suggestion.

As with much of my writing, “You have to climb to reach a deep thought.” And I have noticed that among most of you the ladder is only crowded at the bottom, not the top. My rising tide of intellectualism has failed to lift many boats, yet I continue to hope there’s someone with superior IQ out there somewhere.

My all-time favorite, and one that leaves the hearers stunned, especially insensitive bankers, arrogant politicians and real estate tycoons, in this: “Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.” Now most of us have practical experience with this one, and it is a good one to have tattooed on some body part as a constant reminder that we’re always in or next to deep water!

So with these words of superior wisdom from our Polish Prophet, I shall conclude with this final advice: “Do not ask God the way to heaven, he will show you the hardest one.”

Bud Hearn
August 27, 2009