Keeping Your Mouth Shut

Arnold is an old friend of mine. He’s an alcoholic. He calls himself “a dumb drunk.” Being a dumb drunk is how he’s stayed sober for 25 years. I learned a valuable lesson from him. I re-learned it again this week.

I spent the week as a pro bono instructor for the Southeastern Writer’s Association, a venerable group that puts on workshops for writers, both professional and novices. For the second year I was asked to lead classes in “Inspirational Writing.” The maxim, “the blind leading the blind,” comes to mind. But it’s fun to stumble around, and instructive as well.

About all most untrained writers can do is admit the truth…we’re all beggars. All we can do is tell other beggars where we found something to eat. We pass on what we know. That’s about all I could pass on to this group of talented writers, and admit the truth to myself…my buffet makes for slim pickin’s.

Several years ago I was asked to be a yoga instructor. Imagine, the aged instructing the youth? What was I thinking? Dumb is a too kind of a word to use. Yet I persevered in spite of the snickers and whispers, and I got pretty good at yoga. Humility has its own rewards. But I grew bored with yoga and moved on…before they discovered how dumb I was.

A daily dose of truth is healthy. And Arnold’s story has allowed me to take myself less seriously. Let me pass it on to you, best I can remember. Maybe you can find a morsel of truth in it, too.

Arnold was in and out of the hospital often. Sober one month, soused the next. An insidious cycle. Being a drunk is a hard habit to break. His last stay was for 30 days. Towards the end of that time his body replaced the alcohol with anger. He seethed, and one day he snapped. It happens.

He stomped down to the director’s office to air his grievances. Before he could speak, the director became the inquisitor. “Sit down, Arnold, what’s on your mind?” Arnold said, “Your program for alcoholics stinks. I have some suggestions.” Calmly the director said, “Very well, Arnold, but first let me make some observations.” Arnold listened.

The director spoke. “Arnold, you’re a self-made man, right? Own your own business, possibly a millionaire, right? Drive a Cadillac, right? Have a beautiful girl friend, money in the bank, and good friends, right?” What could Arnold say but, “Yeah, right.” Then the director dropped the bomb that exploded Arnold’s ego. “But Arnold, you know what? You’re a drunk, and a dumb one at that. But if you’ll keep your mouth shut, you’ll be the only one who knows it.” Fighting words to Arnold, but the truth, and he knew it.

Arnold was reborn, a new man. He appropriated a new name for himself… “a dumb drunk.” Sober now for 25 years, he leads classes at an AA chapter with his new message: “I’m a dumb drunk…and so are you!” This is the harsh truth that keeps him on the wagon, and it’s his message of sobriety that he passes on, day by day.

Instructing writers this week brought home a sobering truth. Maybe I should keep my own mouth shut a lot more, and listen…after all, there’s a reason for having one mouth and two ears. Res ipsa loquitor!


Bud Hearn
June 24, 2010