Smiles

“He’s a man out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake…and you’re finished.”
Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman

SoHo, in lower Manhattan, is home to some strange places. The Ear is a favorite of ours. Its official name is The Bar, but part of the blue neon sign has flamed out, rendering it The Ear. A small thing, but everyone knows it this way.

In Atlanta recently I walked into the One Star BBQ, a dark, squatty dive. Once known as the Lone Star BBQ, but a burned-out neon “L” converted it to One Star BBQ. Also a small thing, but everyone knows it this way.

Amber opened the door, flashing a radiant smile. She’d been around the block and knew how to ride on a “from-the-heart” smile. You’ll know it when you see it. “Welcome, glad to see you, come in,” she said. Her smile practically oozed sincerity.

The diner got busy and Helen picked up the slack. Poor Helen. Either she had bad teeth or had not learned the tip value of a big, honest grin. She did her best “obligatory” smile that said, “I’ll tolerate you.” The tip was small.

That week I began characterizing the smiles I met. You’d be amazed at their variety. Smiles are small things but speak volumes. Here are some results of my observations.

There’s the “predatory” smile, more of a sneer than a smile. The top lip scrunches up under the nose and the corner of one side of the mouth turns up. Think Elvis here. It’s one of those “I’ve-got-something-up-my-sleeve” smiles. Beware.

My friend Justine has an “engaging” smile. It makes one feel welcome, saying, “Sit down, kick back, what’s happening?” She’ll have all your secrets and your money before you leave.

I’ll call this one the “indifferent” smile. I fought it off at the 7-11 store when purchasing a paper. Smiley-man’s lips barely parted. I knew right away he’s not only having a bad day but also a bad life. Horrors. I fled.

There’s the “crocodile” smile, most often found at parties. People with a big smile and lots of teeth say in proper decorum, “Oh, and how are you?” Then they proceed to chew you up. Vicious people.

What about the “dismissive” smile? It’s often discovered in the brief chance meetings of life, like in crammed elevators. OK, so you did squeeze in and violate his/her precious space. With pursed lips they give you a roll of the eyes and a tilt of the head. It says, “Take the freight elevator next time, buster.” The gift of flatulence upon departure is an appropriate antidote for such people.

There are “furtive” smiles, those met in hallways and on sidewalks. They want to say “Hello” but fear the consequences. They glance your way, quickly flash a toothless grin and hurriedly pass by. You wonder why they go to the trouble. You walk on, smiling to yourself.

There’s the “insolent or smarmy” smile. It’s found upon the lips of people who actually hate you. It’s a smile apparently taught in government training programs and used by many politicians and arrogant waiters in faux French bistros. It says, “I’m paid to help, but if I had a gun, I’d shoot you.” It’s best to wash your hands immediately. And later also your clothes!

I list others hoping not to overlook yours…innocent, beguiling, disarming, tentative, predatory, reluctant, manipulative, interrogatory and plenty of plain ole goofy smiles. Add your own.

Edith Wharton once said a smile was an “image without substance.” Perhaps some are. My son has a huge smile. I told him that it’d open a lot of doors, but if he had no substance they’d slam in his face. Insincerity is hard to hide!

Observing smiles is fun. Try it. I think you’ll agree…we get back what we give. Smiles are free and contagious.

Like The Ear and the One Star BBQ, everyone knows us in a way. The smile, albeit small, is a dead give-away. Willy Loman, the Salesman, rode on a smile but later flamed out. How far will our smiles take us? I wonder.

It’s something to think about.

Bud Hearn
August 19, 2010