Christmas Fare, Dec 19

Merry Christmas, Friends: Last Minute Quality Gift Ideas

Anxiety is building rapidly among last-minute shoppers…what to buy that special person, where to get it, time is short.…. Hurriedly we rush out, buying tawdry trinkets, paying too much, embarrassed at The Opening on The Day Of…Oh, the frustration! Well, I have found two Perfect last-minute gift ideas for you…guaranteed to evoke a response when opened.

Gift Number 1: The color is black, matches everything; one size fits all, unisex; fire-resistant, easily stored and cleaned; assembly is not required and no instructions necessary for use; portable, chic, useful, and easily adaptable for “re-gifting.” It’s thoughtful, cheap, and made from recycled materials so you can brag about being part of the “Green Movement”. Recipients will exclaim “Too nice, too nice…”, and praise your creativity.

Moreover, The Gift will become a symbol of your character, and if used daily will add many new friends, invitations, and important opportunities. It will be the envy of all your friends, and you will be able to always see the world and those in it from another point of view. Humility will rule your life and guarantee Head-of-The-Line entry through the Pearly Gates. It’s especially useful for men when playing with grandkids, house chores or just responding to wives’ occasional commands of, “Drop down and give me 50”.

But you must hurry …stocks are running low. What is Gift Number One? Why, it’s a pair of rubber knee pads, of course. The Cost? $8.99. Where? Home Depot. The Response upon Opening? Inestimably Incredulous! (click on the attachments above).

Gift Number 2: It makes a subtle statement of the Gift-Giver’s cache, and is reflective of the depth of your thoughtfulness. It is a perfect gift to every family member, especially children. It can be given to friends, business associates and others who have made meritorious achievements worthy of such a gift. It is timeless and easily replicated, plus it comes in all sizes and can occupy prominent locations within homes or offices. The gift is like fine art, and when spotlighted guests will admire your excellent decorative tastes.

However, you must find an artist or sculptor to assist you in this endeavor, and there is no lack of starving artists! Such a gift will set you apart from most and will surely establish your notoriety.

What is it? Why, of course, it’s a Shoulders-up Bust of your Head, done either in bronze, ebony or white-marble cast stone, complete with pedestal. The Cost? Negotiable, depending on the size of your Ego. Where? Any local artist. The Response upon Opening? A stunned hush or riotous laughter.

Perfect last minute quality gift ideas …. gifts that continue to give!