Goodbye to the old trusted idioms. They’ve bit the dust. Acronyms of verbal arcana now rule, the new Esperanto. I’ve dusted off a few old ones and have cobbled them together. Perhaps they still convey a coherent message.
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Today, our Republic is hanging by a thread. Money is as scarce as hen’s teeth. Politics is business as usual. Congress has slammed the door in our face and the government shutdown is adding insult to injury.
What’s happened to consensus? It fell off the wagon and got in the ditch. Everybody’s posturing, saving face. The wolf is knocking at the door looking for a continuation of hand-outs. We’re robbing Peter to pay Paul just to keep anarchy at bay and mobs off the streets.
But misery loves company. There’s enough blame to go around. The fat’s in the fire when the government can’t pay its bills. Our leaders are assuring us that we’ll dodge the bullet of dire consequences in spite of the eleventh hour. Don’t believe this rot. They’ve hung us out to dry while rewarding themselves with the fruits of our labors.
The moment of truth has arrived. Obamacare is here. We’re running from pillar to post, taxing everything that moves, and searching for money to pay the piper. Our ‘leaders’ are impotent. These hot-dog flash-in-the-pan fat cats have made off with billions and spit in our face.
Our Supreme Leader is seeing red these days. He’s tortured by the fact most of American states are red ones. Blue is his color. We’ve heard his empty rhetoric until we’re blue in the face. We’re fed up. He’s so obsessed with red he’s even drawing red lines in the sands of Syria. The world has figured us out. We’re easy pickings now, saturated with egg on our face and have a yellow streak running down our backbone.
It’s un-American to rub salt in our collective wound. Yet, it’s part of our national heritage to put up or shut up. What are we doing here? We’re passing the buck, some merry-go-round of avoidance and blame, living in a fool’s paradise. America is stooping like a crippled old man. Let’s roll up our sleeves and tell the smirkers of this world to bring it on. They’ll regret that day. They’ll be laughing out of the other side of their mouths.
There’s a solution to gridlock…legalized duels. It’ll put a stop to the endless debating of political issues. We’d get to the bottom of it quickly when it’s a matter of life and death. Such contests focus the mind. It’s a fair and square way of coming to grips with issues. It would be the final nail in the coffin of flawed concepts and idiotic ideology. It would truly separate the men from the boys.
Sadly, today our only recourse is the one vote we each have. Let’s use it instead of just running off at the mouth and eating humble pie. The biased media’s grim handwriting on the wall throws fuel on the fire, while we wait for the sorry mess to run its course.
To make a long story short, most of us have no clue how government works. We tend to our own business and try to make hay while the sun still shines. We still have choices. The long and short of it is we should vow to live vigilantly, and let no grass grow under our feet when it comes to speaking our piece.
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It’s a dystextic new world of instagrams, sexting and tweeting. Get used to it. If you don’t like today, tomorrow will be a real pain in the ass. So join the crowd and tune in to a twerking Miley Cyrus and TV’s version of a dysfunctional Modern Family.
Remember, You Only Live Once…YOLO, y’all.
Bud Hearn
October 4, 2013
Illustration courtesy of Leslie Hearn
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