The Fortune Cookie...When All Direction Fails

Friends:

The Fortune Cookie…..When All Direction Fails


“Lord, I was born a ramblin’man tryin’ to make a livin’ and doing the best I can…..” Dickey Betts, Allman Brothers Band, 1973

Wednesday night turned nasty at the Oriental Delight, my favorite Chinese restaurant in Atlanta. Yes, it might have been my fault…But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Maybe it was the smog of yellow pine pollen, or the encroaching anonymity of irrelevance ~ maybe it was the parade of real estate hustlers shuffling through my office peddling over-used and under-water deals that set me off. But something did, and I lost all sense of direction, or something like that.

Now, direction for a “ramblin’ man” is important, but sometimes the way gets obscure. Like the Yogi Berri-ism says, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” I was looking for a direction and finding none, that’s why I was at the Oriental Delight …..the answer was again: The Fortune Cookie!

“How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?” Bob Dylan

I’ve always found solace and direction in fortune cookies ~ don’t lie, so have you! Some fortunes have been derogatory, others prescient, even some humorous ~ but I’ve always found that they “hinted” at direction.

For example, here are some memorable ones (I won’t say what happened when I acted on all of them!):

• “Worst things are yet to come” ~ I had another scotch.
• “The cure will involve an implant” ~ a secret!
• “The only thing you will feel will be the cold catheter” ~ you can probably guess!
• “Your children will inherit early” ~ I changed my will.
• “From your cell you will be able to see the exercise yard” ~ I repented and gave more money to the Church.
• “Your lawyer will get everything you own” ~ I fired him!

Back to the Oriental Delight ~ my fortune cookie had no fortune in it….EMPTY, and something snapped in me. Madly I rushed from table to table, snatching patron’s cookies, furiously cracking them open. Empty, Empty, Empty ~~~ ALL were EMPTY!

When screams from the table of senior citizens erupted, I was forced to leave the restaurant under threat of physical violence or arrest. But not before, in a last gasp grab, I had seized one last cookie from an unsuspecting child while I sprinted out the door.

In the darkness of the parking lot, my composure regained, I sat quietly in my car and slowly unwrapped the last fortune cookie. Cautiously I broke it in half, praying for a fortune, praying, praying…and there it was, there it was ~ my fortune, my direction, my future. It read simply, “See Rock City.”

With the engine roaring and tires screeching, I pulled onto US 41 and headed North…lookout life, here I come ~ again!


Bud
April 1, 2008